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The Night of Revelations

Like the yet to be written, but often mentioned creamer story, this story requires some tact to recant. The opposite of which is what our crew is known for. Before now this story has been largely secret to anyone outside the participants. In small part, I feel I am revealing the secrets of the Freemasons.

It was a Friday night, in the post-Princeton era. I was attending a Sabres game with a friend. I had been informed hours before the game that Dan was hosting a Trivial Pursuit drinking event. I informed Dan I would stop by after the hockey game, after all, the game would be over by 9:30, placing my arrival at Dan’s place no later than 10. Surely, the event would still be in full swing by then, right? Aside from my late arrival, the other attendees were to be Dan, Mike, Chris, and another Aaron. I expected all of them to be there well before me.

After the hockey game I headed back to my car, and noticed several voicemail messages left by Dan and Mike. Both had called me individually pleading for my hurried arrival as it turned out no one but the two of them had shown. Having already played a few games of Trivial Pursuit, the social glue of beer was not enough to entertain the two of them. Neither Chris nor the other Aaron had shown up. i had gone to the game with a friend who had driven in from out of town. He had left his car at my place, so I had to take him back to my apartment to retrieve his car before I could head over to Dan’s place. While en route home I received calls from Chris and the other Aaron, both of which were only now heading over to Dan’s place. Chris knew the way, but wanted to make sure I was on the way so he was not left to suspiciously peer in the windows of Dan’s abode. The other Aaron had never been to Dan’s place, and giving directions while driving was a failure, so I told him to meet me at my place. I was still near downtown,and lived on Sheridan at the time, so the other Aaron should have been at my place well before me. A block from my apartment I passed the other Aaron driving in the opposite direction. As I arrived home expecting the other Aaron to arrive any minute. After my friend used the restroom, and said good-bye, still no other Aaron. I decided he must have had an epiphany of direction sense and made a bee-line to Dan’s house. As I am turning off the last major street en route to Dan’s place I again spy the other Aaron driving past me. This time he sees me for sure. I am able to call him, “Turn down the street you just passed!”

I arrived at Dan’s place, just and Chris and the other Aaron both also pulled up. It was closer to 11pm now, and when we entered Dan’s place he told us no one else showed except Mike, who left an hour ago. Just as a depression of a lost Friday night set in Dan revived the night with the most improbable statement ever, “Let’s go have a beer at McGee’s. I’m buying.” Shit, if Dan is offering to buy you better take that opportunity!

Excited as we were at the forthcoming Dan-purchased beer, we still expected some cheap ass brew, or a single glass for us all to share. Dan once more blew us away by purchasing a pitcher of Kilian’s Red. McGee’s was never my favorite place; it is small (not as small as Anacone’s) and very loud (most often due to some band). Thee was no band playing so the four of us found a nice table at the far end, near where the band plays. Our spirits bolstered to high levels by Dan we all were eager to enjoy ourselves. The usual conversation started. Eventually the topic turned to the “standard” positions to “attack” a woman. The other Aaron maintained there is was one more that the rest of us could come up with. He smiled and said no as we guessed what his extra assault angle was. Eventually he told us, and an argument ensued because the rest of us held the contention that his extra attack was just a combination of two of the other three attacks. Eventually this topic led to talk of The Plaque.

For those who do not know “The Plaque” is a concept created by our group years ago. To get your name on The Plaque you had to have launched an offensive (some pun intended) on a woman involving a specific maneuver. At the time the only names on the mythical Plaque (we certainly could never create a tangible Plaque for it would incriminate those inscribed) were Larry and Dan. Both had been proud members for many years.

Back to Darcy McGee’s. So the other Aaron’s “extra attacks” discussion has reveled he is now on the Plaque. There is 20 seconds of dead silence, and Chris breaks out that he is a member also. This is followed by the obvious questions and cheer from the table. Another 60 seconds of dead silent before I break down, “Alright! I’m on the Plaque also!” The obvious question again and more cheer. It is now pointed out that in the span of a few minutes the inscribed on the Plaque has skyrocketed from an elite two, to five! The event was sworn to secrecy (oops) and was hwence forth referred to as “The Night of Revelations.” After this night “The Plaque” was never really mentioned again, as the elusive award had lost it’s luster, somehow now appearing dirty.


12 Responses

  1. Well, I really do not know how to touch that story. Other than to say that the plaque was known as the plaque enshrining the great conquerors of history. One person was proclaimed to be Hernan Cortes.

  2. Cortes! I hear he lives in North Carolina.

  3. Just for the record, I don’t believe I’m the Mike in question on this night as I would have been in the AF at this time.

    Now I’ve never been one to silently accept understood and unspoken truths with a wink and a nod, so I’m going to come right out and state my opinion that the “offensive” act in question is butt fucking. Is that it? Butt fucking?

    Developing a taste for buggery is a useful tool that prepares one for unforseen incarceration or a stint in the Navy. Having now heard the revelation I will worry that much less if any of the aforementioned find themselves in such a pickle.

    I was not aware Cortes was known for that so much as Pizzaro.

  4. To be clear, there are two Mike’s in this story. You are not the one at the hockey game, but you are the one who was at the Trivial Pursuit game.

  5. Wolf, you vulgarian! Not your finest example of writing, and who amongst us would stoop to calling an act by its common name as you did! Shame! I am shocked, shocked to think that sodomy might have gone on at any time by any members of this pure crowd. Especially Dan… oh wait, nevermind.

  6. You dirty minded fools! The act I spoke of was holding hands in a sweet and wholesome manner. Never would any of us ever consider anything so despicable! I am offended in a deeply moral way!

  7. I remember that night, everyone was so shocked when I bought beer. But I’m a generous soul, when I have the money I spread it around, which explains why I don’t have very much money. Espically then when I was working a barely above minimum wage job and paying through shcool.

    I am shocked at Wolf’s vile accusations, just shows the sort of dirty stinking mind he has. Mr. Family Man indeed. Holding hands and reading passages from the Bible together. What more fun could a man and women have together?

  8. You insult me good fellow. My dirty stinking mind is far more depraved then my written accusations would indicate and simply muted the usual dirge of filth due to the presence of ladies here. Aaron has already confirmed Matt reads this blog although it’s a fair bet he hasn’t stumbled across ‘Saving Schultz’ just yet.

    Allow me to compliment the tale of the generous beer buying. One day at UB I chanced accross Mr Mooney waking up from a nap in the hallway of the Student Union (most people used the couches in Lockwood). He forwarded the idea of visiting the newly opened Pizza Hut in the mini-mall or whatever that thing is called. Sounded good to me and we each ordered appetizers, individual pan pizzas, and coffee. The check came and just as it was hitting the table, Mooney looks up at me and says, “Uh, just so you know, I don’t have any money.” Fortunately, I was able to just cover the charges with the few dollars in my pocket and by topping off my almost maxed out Discover card.

  9. Sounds typical, hence the surprise at free beer. Though Dan was very generous at offering to buy coffee and eggs with his Discover card, especially to me who neither drank coffee nor ate eggs. I was able to get free pop now and again.

  10. BTW Dan, I am expecting a post soon on “The Anguished 12 Hours”.

  11. Good idea. I’m currently working on another post, but will start on that as well poste haste.

  12. […] was an early inscribed name on The Plaque along with the original name, that being of Larry. A rare evening together with the two forces of […]

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