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Boogie Nights

Larry has hosted a few parties I have attended. The house is filled with people, lots of goons and eye candy from Baily’s, strange new beings,and the usual suspects.

At one such party the usual suspects existed on the front lawn. At some point Larry took his 21 year old girlfriend, Larry was far her senior, to the nearby Tops to procure another keg. An hour and a half passed before they returned. To regurgitate the story, Larry was being helped by the Tops manager in acquiring the keg. Larry decided to roll the keg down the isle, breaking the tap, which was attached for some reason. Larry exercised his fast-talk abilities to entice the manager to give him another tap.

On Larry’s return from Top, he emphatically states to his barely legal, but hardly ethical woman, “I am an excellent driver.” then drives directly into a ditch.

Another party that had only myself and one other usual suspect in attendance. The rest of the house was filled with the aforementioned goons and eye-candy form Baily’s. The party was surprisingly uneventful for almost it’s extent. A dumb goon and smart goon got into a serious pushing match. These two, alone with the five other men in the house (excluding myself, Larry, and the remaining non-Baily’s goon) entered the small, dirt first floor bathroom. The three of us looked at each other, looked at the eye-candy (themselves looking at the CLOSED bathroom door), and finally laid rest our eyes upon the bathroom door. There were no screams from the bathroom. Nary a sound escaped the flimsy, dirty portal. An extended ten minutes later the goon squad existed the bathroom, all in good spirits. They all rebuffed any attempts to discover the bathroom proceedings. Larry did later throw them out when we discovered their earlier fisticuffs (that one is for you Wolf) had engraved an hefty scratch in his very expensive dining room chairs.

Many parties center around the keg, which is often the basement. Larry used this setup also, but he also placed his pool table in the basement. The usual suspects often congested around said table. An added bonus to easy access to refills and pool was the view of the people descending the stairs to refill their own cups (the standard red, plastic party cups). One night gave us witness to several people falling down the stairs, including a particular female repeatedly. Put a pin in this. Placed on the wall of the basement, adjacent to the dart board, was “The Artifact”. This was one of those giant, yarn circle things. When Larry previously owned a store on Elmwood the many transients for the half-way home on the corner (since demolished and replaced by a bakery and pottery store). They took more than they gave, bu occasionally they would offer to shovel his sidewalk (a mere two thrusts of the snow shovel and it was clear), or bring in some random item and attempt to sell it as some high-value treasure while wiping off the caked on mud. One of these transients once presented Larry with “The Artifact”. Now you can take the pin out. Picture a party in full swing; dart board and pool table in use. Here comes the previously mentioned female who manages to make it half way down the stairs (we have grown to identify her boots so we can pause to watch her tumble) before she slips, lands on her ass, slides down the staircase until she lands hard on the bare concrete floor, this triggers “The Artifact” to semi-spontaneously fall, roll down the wall, hit a chair like a ski ramp, and hit a guy in the arm just as he releases a dart, which goes off line and embeds in the dirty wall next to the ear of some fool. A side note to this party was it ended with about 40 people in the backyard scarfing down hot dogs.

These final party incidents center around women. Going back to Larry’s basement pool table at one such party; I am playing pool with someones girlfriend, who has no experience playing pool. Only due to my level of intoxication, and my familiarity with said friend and the girlfriend am I able to remark to her, upon noticing her high level of difficulty of deciding upon how to hold the cue, “Just hold it like a cock.” Problem solved.

The final incident starts out away from Larry’s party. I take my new girlfriend (of only a few weeks) to see a show recommended by Broome. We arrive and sit down to chat with Chris and Broome. Being a new female in my like, I have not yet divulged my proclivity for roleplaying. A short time into our conversation Chris says, “So Dan… combat?” Dan what not there, but Chris was failing miserably as he tried to subtly remark upon our current game of DnD. My date was perceptive enough to pick up on this. She turned sharply towards me and said, “What?” Chris and Broome immediately excused themselves. This story continues later as after the show we head over to Larry’s party. We head downstairs to find a circle of drunken fools I call friends. My lady soon asks them all questions about DnD. To my amazement no real damage was done until she asked if we dress up; to which Mike replied with, “Well of course there is always the crotchless Batman outfit.” As you can guess tremendous laughter erupted and my date bolted upstairs; as I headed after her to determine the level of her outrage, I head Dan remark, “Good luck with that one Aaron.” In closing, when I caught up to her she was not upset, but rather bent over laughing. A few weeks later we broke up; nothing to do with “combat”.


5 Responses

  1. Ah Larry, you wacky musclehead!

    Did you ever find out what they were doing in the bathroom? What, by the way, is a ‘dirt first floor bathroom’?

    I’m also wondering what exactly happened to Larry’s store anyway?

    You know, it never occurred to me, but even though I constantly make fun, it has to require a certain amount of courage to tell new people in your life that you are a gamer; especially dates. Do you have a way of doing it, or are you usually outed by someone else? How hard was it to tell your parents? Are you out about it at work? The internet must really make things easier with the ability to put out ads, like the one Dan had on the side here. I suppose you are going to stick to the old myth that you could recognize each other with a certain sort of ‘gamedar’, but I always thought that was bullshit. And yes, I know I experimented with gaming back in highschool, but it never really took. I was young and needed the friends. It just turned out that I like girls more, that’s all.

  2. To this day we have no idea what went on int he bathroom. A “dirt first” floor bathroom is just a very dirty (overflow of kitchen dishes in bathroom sink) bathroom on the first floor.

    The story of Larry’s stores is for another post. I will need to do some research to complete it, but it is coming.

    Generally, not until I am comfortable will I tell a woman of my geekery. No sense spreading the word if it is not serious. Those of us gaming regularly on Saturdays agreed to allow a month pass for skipping sessions for a new woman, then you had to return to the group. Usually I left some geek books on a shelf or something for her to discover, then she would ask and it did not seem like a big deal. Of course I had boxes of Battlelords books, which I described as “my friend and I do some small run publishing”. My parents knew when I was little and first started with DnD. I do not tell work, but a few times someone has approached me (themselves a geek) indicating they know of Battlelords and my association. I would not advertise myself as a geek at work unless there was some group/individual who seemed cool that was “out”. It is “geekdar”.

  3. Yeah I keep the geekery to myself. My last couple of girlfriends all thought I was going off to an all boys poker game. I kept the books hidden in my closet, under some clothes

  4. I think the “poker night” excuse was what Ian used also.

  5. It really is a shame that society continues to judge you so. There is really nothing wrong with it – Deuteronomy be damned! Excuse me if I’m not being PC here, but have you noticed that your types tend to be attracted to certain professions? I mean look around the room: computers, chemistry, teaching (good opportunity to start ’em young); a much better chance of encountering your own kind I’m sure. I’d expect the same here in engineering, but given we are defense, it’s still pretty closeted. I’m positive though that I’ve seen people slyly trying to check out my pocket for the tell tale lump of 10 sided dice.

    I’d say I know what it’s like, what with the comics and all, but not exactly the same thing. Society tends to tolerate my geekdom with more positive media portrayals, although stereotypes do still exist, like Comic Book Guy in the Simpsons. Poor Dan, branded with the double cross of shame!

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