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Get Me A Salami Sandwich

This is a tale of woe for Larry. It came ot pass one day that Louis, Larry, and I were all at his dirty, little apartment above the ODS store on Elmwood. Louis and I got up to make a usual trip to the corner Wilson Farms for provisions. We offered to get Larry something. Larry, as per his M.O., asked for a lot and provided very little in the way of funds. Larry requested a salami sandwich and 1lb. of potato salad form the Wilson Farms miniscule deli. He was also parched, so he requested a large orange juice. The grand total he provided for this feast? $3. This did not even cover a 1/4lb. of potato salad. We purchased a load of bread (the only thing we returned with, exactly as requested) and a Slim Jim; but it was a LARGE Slim Jim. To say the least Larry was not amused. He took out two pieces of bread and held them together in sandwich fashion, shaking furiously in the air, “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! HAVE AN AIR SANDWICH! HMMM! YUM!” Louis and I were bent over laughing.


2 Responses

  1. Umm, you are spaced out. First of all, his request was for a loaf of bread, chicken salad (quantity not specified), and a pepperoni stick. There was no potato salad nor salami involved. I have a crystal clear recollection of this. I do not recall however whether he requested orange juice or milk. We purchased a loaf of bread, 1/4 lb of chicken salad, and a slim jim. In order to get the slim jim we had to dip into our own pocket, but it was worth it. Larry actually took 3 pieces of bread and suggested he have a BREAD sandwich, not an AIR sandwich. Finally, when I was able to croak out a reply to his comment, I stated “Larry, you are just going to have to ration” – this caused you and I to cry with laughter. Larry responded “I fail to see the humor in this situation”, at which point you vomited from laughing so hard. Did you forget that part?

  2. I am going to vomit now from laughter, but no excretion party.

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