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Hey Paula? Would You Like A Mint?

I struggled if I should tell this story, but for the sake of possible, one-day, completeness of this collection of stories I feel we need this documented. I have done my best to disclose this story without a breath of distaste. This took place at Princeton. Wolf brought this girl, Paula, around. During this time Wolf and I had been living together for 4 years, and without a common enemy had grown somewhat tired of each other. We maintained civility, and I spent as much time outside the apartment as I could. Wolf was working at Napa 6 days a week, so it was relatively easy on me. I often came home after 5PM to find Wolf passed out in his couch, with an empty TV dinner on the circular table in front of him. I was out on a Saturday with Schultz. We had been someplace and I had spilled something dark on my shirt. We had intentions of going somewhere else, so we stopped by Princeton so I could change my shirt. When we entered the apartment I found Wolf, Paula, and two other girls. It was a birthday party for Wolf or Paula, I am not certain which, but I am sure Wolf will fill in a number of details here. Matt and I said a very friendly “Hello!” and I proceeded directly to the bathroom, and then to my room to change my shirt, while Matt chatted with the group. When I exited the room I immediately left with Matt after a quick goodbye. I had failed to notice Wolf was hovering outside my room door to try to corner me. I found out later he was forced into this situation and wanted to employ my offensive side. He wanted to propose Matt and I hang about and behave in a less than chivalrous manner, thereby driving the women form the house. Hmm, he must not have been able to get ahold of Dan, and his remarkable skills in that area, that night.

Paula, became a reoccurring bad movie for some weeks after that. She turned out to be a weird girl with strange habits. Unfortunately for Mike she had taken a real liking for him, and continued to call and stop by unannounced. She even had left some things “mistakenly” at the apartment that we left outside the door. Still she did not give up. The musk of a Wolf is too powerful for some to overcome.

The second to last time she tried to gain entry she made a surprise visit. Never before would we be so overjoyed that our apartment was on the second floor. Wolf was in his room, reading at his desk, which was facing the open window. He heard her gut-wrenching squeals outside. As anyone who met Paula would have done, he slowly pulled back form the window and did not move. You do not want to make sudden movements in the realm of a a wild animal. The plan was proceeding quite well until she remembered Wolf’s bedroom window on the side of the house. She prowled around to the side of the apartment and turned quickly from screaming inquiry to hysterical anger. “Mike I know you’re there! I can see the top of your head through the window!” Wolf wisely did not move.

I do not know exactly how long Paula prowled the grounds below, like a wild cat pacing around the base of a tree, up which it has cornered it’s prey. I think it was the better part of an hour. Paula made one more trip to Princeton after that, but thankfully we were both gone. Jeff Death took a fancy to Paula and last we heard she had him drive her out to some greasy truck stop and leave her there. What became of the wild woman we will never know.


5 Responses

  1. You failed to explain your “mint” reference in the title, in the body of the story. Perhaps you should detail a little bit more.

  2. I left that portion out on purpose. But to be blunt, Paula was around for several days, and Mike offered her a sealed, extra toothbrush. She politely declined.

  3. There is much more to this story than currently meets the eye and I should get around to telling the whole thing shortly. Be advised, however, as it is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. I’m currently working on the one where Knaus drinks lighter fluid and should have it up later today or tomorrow.

  4. “A breath of distaste.” Very good phrase for the topic.

    I did go over there, but it turns out that I knew three of the four girls from ECC and Rocky Horror, and they liked me and my bad habits. Paula was a Rocky regular.

    One of them, I can’t remember her name, with glasses, hated Matt, talked non-stop about how terrible he was and then ended up sleeping with him.

    There’s more to tell of Paula after she was foricble removed by Mike, but I’ll wait until after Mike has told his side of the story. The rest is as funny as what Mike will tell.

  5. Coming very shortly, the whole long and sordid story of Paula and her stank ass breath. Tis a whopper of a tale and will be posted tonight or tomorrow.

    For the record, Aaron has most of the details wrong above, but can be forgiven as he was only present for perhaps a cumulative 15 minutes of thw whole saga, for which he is not forgiven. 🙂 Also, I never worked at NAPA. At the time of the telling it was summer and I was still with the DPW. I worked at Lakeland after graduation; a primary motive for joining the Air Force. Well, that and to worry Schultz.

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