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Happy New Year!

It is New Year’s Eve of around 2000 (?). Matt was dating Stephanie (again) at the time (Matt and Stephanie were on/off repeatedly for at least two year, but you lose track after awhile), and I had taken Stephanie’s friend, Michelle, out twice. The plan for New Year’s was to go to some formal event downtown, but since Matt did not want to dress up he broke up with Stephanie; they got back to gather a week after New Years, so I maintain to this day he merely did not want to put on a nice shirt for New Year’s so like any sane person would do to solve this problem – he broke up with Stephanie. Due to this fracture the group split up. A new plan was quickly formed to salvage the event. The large group of us (myself, Stephanie, Michelle, Rob, Rachel, and some others I cannot recall) had dinner at Bennigans. Our group had a history of not thinking of New Year’s plans until too late, and we could always get into Bennigans, so we ended up there at the beginning of New Year’s Eve for at least three years in a row, and a few other times after that.

I should note the first time I met Stephanie, Matt barged into my apartment and begged me to go to the beach with them. He said Stephanie’s friends did not like him, and if I was there I could enjoy the beach and I did not care if they hated me; this would take the pressure off Matt as her friends could concentrate on hating me for being a jerk. It all backfired as I had a great time letting them bury me in the sand, and playing washing machine in the lake.

Back to New Year’s. The other group was Chris. He had recently met up with some girl, and it was going well. They decided to meet at Mr. Goodbar on Elmwood and see how it went. The newly-broken up Matt was not going to spend New Year’s by himself, and suddenly without a gaggle to traverse the night with he pleaded with Chris to tag along. Chris agreed, but demanded Matt hang out in some other part of Mr. Goodbar when his date showed up. Matt got a health head start on drinking, so was quite bold in stating he was going to walk over to a group of women to talk to them, but proceeded to boldly stride past them to hang out in the corner for awhile. Chris’s date, let’s call her Melanie – I can’t remember her real name, arrived and she and Chris had a grand time. Matt grew bored of the corner, and headed back over the Chris. Initially the conversation was pleasant, until Matt spilled Melanie’s wine all over the front of her dress. Melanie lived a block form the bar, and in a remarkably smooth move, saw Chris jump on the opportunity to offer his gentlemanly services to help her out of this embarrassing situation.

Melanie was quite eager to accept Chris’s help. Chris and Melanie hauled Matt to her place and deposited him on her couch in a drunken pile while they entered her bedroom to change. Their giggling and fondling were interrupted by the sound of a drill. They exited the bedroom, to find Matt with the drill to his head. Luckily it was not plugged in.

Meanwhile, back over with the larger group. We all partook of dinner at Bennigan’s with little of note. After dinner we proceeded to Anacone’s. We pulled some tables together in the back (the usual plan). The first round of drinks was quickly downed and Stephanie and Michelle went up to the bar to get more drinks. At the bar they ran into a fellow med student (male). This was the last I saw of Michelle, as she talked to this guy all night long. Eventually they moved to a table together in the back of the room, after the rest of us had moved out of there. I was not the least heartbroken, as I had only been out with Michelle twice previous to this night, and note even a kiss was add (now it sounds like the Seinfeld episode). I was miffed due to principle. More on this later.

The rest of the group at Anacone’s had a grand time. We wore hats and cajoled with noise makers the find employees of Anacone’s provided us all free of charge. Rob even took the opportunity to declare this “The Year of Rob”! He would date a new woman every month. The follow year I store his idea and declared “The Year of Aaron”. The decree payed off as Rob asked Barb out, and a relationship ensued for some time. When Rob made his decree, in loud and proud fashion, he sealed the deal by squeezing Rachel’s boob in sudden and shocking fashion. Rachel’s reaction was the usual, “Rob?!” To the rest of was surprising, yet somehow typical Rob.

Another incident was Stephanie ran into some guy who kept hitting on her, and she asked me to save her if I saw him talking to her again. Some time later I saw her backed into the pinball machine by said guy. In my drunken state I saw fit to help her out by sliding down the length of the pinball machine, to appear in the middle of the two and shout “I love you!” The guy promptly left. This was the first false decree of regard that night.

The night dragged on, and the rest of the group (Rachel, Rob, etc.) left. I was getting tired, but Stephanie decided it was time to cry over Matt. I was stuck consoling her. After 30 minutes of tears-to-anger she was fine. I decided to make my way home, as it was now about 3AM. As I opened the front door of Anacone’s here comes Chris, Matt, and Melanie.

Chris: “Where are you going?”
Aaron: “Home, everyone else has left.”
Chris: “Where is Michelle?”
Aaron: “In the back talking to some guy all night.”
Chris: “I’ll be back.”

Now, the actions of Chris I did not learn of until weeks later. He strode up to the table, “I love you!”, and laid a big kiss on Michelle. Then he left. Here is our second false decree. I later found out that soon after that Matt strode up to Michelle’s table and berated her for what she had done to me.

Back at the table, ended up Chris, Matt, Melanie, and myself. Cheerful conversation was had by all. In the middle I looked at Chris, and holding both hand out in a manner to suggest I am displaying the size of something, “Chris, I want to ask her a question?” Those that have seen the infamous “David and Goliath” video will know the question that is supposed to follow is “Do you do it doggie style?” As a side note, I surprised myself with the wear-with-all to ask Chris’s permission to ask such a sensitive question to his date, but I digress. Chris said, “Go ahead”, having the clear desire to know exactly how far his progress with Melanie could advance. My question to Melanie was then, “Do you take it in the ass?” Not the inquiry Chris expected, but Melanie, without a studder or shake, said she had, and it was OK.

In closing I suddenly recall another point of fact. Melanie had a very large chest. It was said she needed two seats… one for herself, and one for her chest. It turned out to be true as she took nearly half the table surface.

All this without Mooney. I do not even know where he spent his New Year’s.

So concludes the most eventful New Year’s I can recall.


6 Responses

  1. I often spent New Years at Annacones, but because Jeff Death always showed up at my doorstep during that time, no on elese really want to hand out. So we went there.

    I remember two parties at Brian Blakes house as well. Man had brought a date there as well. She was rather bull-dykish and I mistook her for a man. Someone told me that Matt had brought a date I point at her and said, “Is that him?” Turns out it was.

  2. I recall another New Year in which Dan, Paul and I escorted out Stephanie and 2 of her friends since Matt was working at IHOP. I think we went for Chinese, then IHOP to laugh at Matt, and finally ended up at Anacones.

    I’m thinking of doing my own New Year piece as we had 2 good parties at Comstock and another good one at Princeton (that was the one where we took the cigarette walk after midnight and sang in the streets)

  3. You better do these stories, as I have not idea what you are talking about with this signing in the streets? Maybe that was the year I made an impromptu costume of Blank Man (having never seen the movie) and went to a party with Matt and Stephanie and MAtt lay comatose the whole night. Oh wait, that was Halloween, but then I get all the times Matt is comatose in the corner confused.

  4. Of course I will! Have I not become the most prolific poster?

  5. How could they have heard the sound of a drill if it wasn’t plugged in?

  6. I wasn’t there, perhaps Chris can comment, but they hear some sound. Maybe it was just “Damn it!” as Matt expressed his feelings of failing to drill his brain.

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