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The Stink Bike

One day, Aaron, Matt, Dan, and Louis, plus one other individual (Rob?) had been in Dan’s basement for the usual fun night of games and intermittent treks over the wall to Tops. At the end of the evening, when the festivities were over, it was discovered that Aaron’s 10-speed bike which he had used to arrive at Dan’s was stolen from behind the house. In its place was what can only be described as a true dirt bike. It was a small, white and rusty bike which was literally covered in mud – or possibly feces. Obviously, the thief or thieves had ridden it to Dan’s house then exchanged it for Aaron’s bike. It was a bad trade.

Aaron declared that he HAD to have a bike the next day, because he was due to work the World University Games (as a ticket taker, or some such) the next morning. The new bike, however, had a problem: it stank. I mean, it was a swampy, skunky, nasty smell, as if it had been pulled out of a bog in which it had lain lo these 50 years. So, we reluctantly brought it in the car with us. To the best of my recollection, the car in which we had to transport back to Comstock was some form of small hatchback, possibly the infamous Yugo. There was not enough room to fit everyone plus the bike comfortably (despite its small size), so we had to jam its tire in the backseat with the passengers. The distance from Dan’s house to Comstock was not very far – perhaps a mile and a half – but OH MY GOD were we glad to get out of the car. It was a brutal journey even with the windows open.

Aaron did his best work on that bike with a hose, but there wasn’t much mere water could do to that smell. It was heinous. True to his word, Aaron rode it to the North Campus the next day, a few mile trek which probably seemed like an eternity. He abandoned it openly on the lawn of one of the engineering buildings, deciding that a bus home was a much better option than attempting to ride again.


4 Responses

  1. I worked at the grill in Ellicott Complex. I think that was the day I was alone while everyone else was on lunch, and the entire Polish Soccer team came in to order double cheeseburgers and fries. It was 20 people!

    God that bike stank! The pants I wore on that sensory defiling trek had to be thrown out in someone else’s garbage.

  2. It’s a shame that the washing machine hadn’t been invented in those days.

  3. I did wash those pants, but the stink was still prevalent, and the dreams would not die.

  4. Come on now, you had legs! I walked back and forth from that campus every day, in the snow.

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