Rock Climbing in Germany

Wolf has an answer for everything, while not correct in any more percentage than someone randomly guessing, his more sturdy reason is “I know because I went rock climbing in Germany”. Now I know you are saying to yourself, “What the hell does rock climbing in Germany have to do with anything other than rock climbing and Germany”? That is Wolf. Some of his other answers to life’s most difficult questions are: “Ask her to sit on your face”, and something else I can’t right now. Wolf also frequently claimed some other-worldly knowledge about a subject because of his vast network of fictitious cousins; “Oh, I know all about sky diving because I have a cousin who went sky diving once.” Even if this is true, which was only true once, and even if his cousin was able to 100% accurately impart his gained knowledge, participating in an activity ONCE does not make you an expert.

As to my own short answers to life’s problems are to break the silence in conversation with, “So I’ve decided to dip my balls in Mountain Dew”, which has been stolen from Nick’s, “I’m going to get my balls laminated”.

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2 Responses

  1. The Wolfism I am actually hoping makes a comeback is, ‘Better than being shot in the ass with rock salt’. Of course people just look at me stupidly when I say it now. Morons.

  2. This reminds me of the official advice that must be dispensed regarding any new woman.

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