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The Greatest Party That Never Happened

“Ides of March” Party FlyerOne day Dan is hanging out at the Comstock house. He says to Wolf, “Do you mind if I have a party here?” “Sure”, says Wolf. Several weeks pass and we never hear mention of this party ever again.

Fast forward several weeks. It is Wednesday; I am walking through the university commons and I see an eye-catching flier that says “Psycho” (my former nickname). The flier is for an “Ides of March” party presented by “The Dashwood Society”. Hmm, that is Dan’s drinking club. Reading on… “Live reenactment of the killing of Caesar”, that explains the “Ides of March” portion… “Come for a night of alcoholic indulgence and carnal pleasure!” What?! I saw my own address on the flier and I never took off so fast for home as I ripped the flier down! Not like it mattered, as there where fliers plastered everywhere I looked – like a psychological horror movie the room was spinning and all I saw where “Ides of March” fliers. Oh, the best part; the flier had a never detailed drawing of a Succubus giving it to a bent over woman.

When I arrived home I found Wolf with a flier also. We got a hold of Dan and he was genuinely surprised we were upset. Someone else we all knew called us later to inform us that an hour after I saw all the fliers they where ripped down.

If you have read about our other parties we never tell our roommate Jason about them. So was the case this time, of course we didn’t know about this one ourselves. It is Thursday and Jason is home alone, and answers a feverishly knocking door. It is the Buffalo police. “If there is a party here tomorrow night you are all going to jail!” Jason had no clue what was going on.

After Jason relays the police message we stay home the next night (Friday). We have painted over the house numbers and put a big sign in the front window, “PARTY CANCELED BY ORDER OF THE BUFFALO POLICE.” We have the usual friends over and we all spend the night drinking beer and watching the numerous cars roll up to the front of the house and then tear off down the street.


5 Responses

  1. That’s an Incubus doing the dirty deed of sodomy.

  2. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a satyr.

  3. I’ll never forget the flbergasted look on Arron’s face, when he stormed up to me and shoved a flyer in my face, yelling in his high-pitched nasal twang, “What the fuck is this Dan?”

    And I replied, “You said we could have a party.”

  4. OK, there are some key details left out. For one thing you neglect the letters received from UB and from the Buffalo Common Council (Franczyk) which pointed out “numerous apparent violations of the conduct code and alcohol laws”. They even enclosed a flier with at lesat one of the letters.

    Also, there is an irony in that the party date was March 18th but the Ides of March are on the 15th.

  5. I forgot about the letters! Man that flier really chapped some asses. The best part of it all was Jason being threatened with jail time. I remember being in the kitchen with either Paul or Aaron and listening as the cop chewed him out. Jason being Jason argued back in typical whiny manner agitating the cop even more.

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